Your Brain Is Not the Problem — Now on Sale

I have always been fascinated by meditation. Mostly because the idea of actually controlling my brain sounded like a superpower. Nowadays, the tech bros call this "biohacking," but back then, I just called it "desperately trying to force-quit my internal browser" (Alt+F4 does not work with the brain - yet!).

The Things I Tried (and Failed At)

After my autism and ADHD diagnosis, I did what any incredibly stubborn, data-obsessed person would do: I tried to fix my brain through sheer, brute-force research volume.

From the book: "Every meditation app, every productivity hack, every well-meaning therapist who told me to 'just breathe' was handing me a manual for a machine I did not own. The prescription was wrong. Not the patient."

I wanted to find a way of meditating that actually worked for me. I did not want to continue hearing the words "empty your mind and stay still." It simply did not work. Any moment of silence was just a VIP opportunity to hear my own heartbeat and mentally calculate the exchange rate between Indian Rupees and HK dollars.

So, here is just a partial list of the things I tried:

• Yoga: Too painful.

• Buddhism in Little Tibet: Too organized.

• GongFu: Too intense.

• TaiQi: Too slow.

• Eating an orange in the shower: No matter what Reddit said, it does not work. It just made me sticky. Fortunately, I was already in the shower...

And much more!

The point is: I tried every single thing the wellness industrial complex threw at me, and I sucked at all of them. For a very long time, I just assumed I was fundamentally broken.

Turns out, I wasn't.

What the Science Actually Says (or: Why Silence is My Enemy)

Here is the secret nobody told me, and probably didn't tell you, either:

Traditional meditation was designed for a very specific type of brain. You know, the kind of brain where the background noise actually quiets down when you close your eyes. The kind where stillness is relaxing, rather than an invitation for every unprocessed thought from the last forty-three years to show up and start screaming.

That is not our brain.

In neurodivergent folks, the Default Mode Network (the delightful system responsible for mind-wandering, internal chatter, and playing a 3 AM highlight reel of your most embarrassing memories) does not shut up when you sit in silence. It turns the volume all the way up.

Suddenly, the fridge hum is deafening. The clock is ticking aggressively. You can hear your own heartbeat broadcasting at stadium volume, and your skin is itching in exactly three unreachable places simultaneously.

This isn't because you lack discipline or aren't trying hard enough. It's basic neuroscience.

Once I finally grasped this, my entire life made a lot more sense. Our brains don't need less stimulation to calm down. They just need the right kind.

So I Wrote a Book

Armed with this newly found knowledge of experimental neuroscience, I wanted to share it. Not just with my coaching clients, but with the world.

Because your brain is not wrong. Just the instructions were.

Your Brain Is Not the Problem is officially out now. It is exactly the book I desperately needed back when I was sitting in a Himalayan monastery, stressing over spreadsheets and wondering why I couldn't just "om" my way to happiness.

If you know someone who has quietly given up on meditation, self-care, or their own capacity to ever feel calm... please send this to them. Not only they deserve to know that the problem was never them in the first place - but also what alternative meditations techniques they could employ.

[Link: Your Brain Is Not the Problem on Amazon] 

Horoscope

♈ Aries You are operating at a level of manic energy that is actively terrifying to everyone around you. Put down the credit card and do not make any sudden life changes until the caffeine wears off.

♉ Taurus You sincerely believed that buying a very expensive, aesthetically pleasing candle would cure your burnout. It didn't, and now you're just exhausted and out $65. Please just take a nap.

♊ Gemini Your brain is currently a browser with 47 tabs open, and music is playing from an unknown source. You have drafted fourteen highly articulate texts in your head and sent absolutely zero of them.

♋ Cancer You are trying to regulate your nervous system by romanticizing your sadness. It is okay to just be mildly annoyed at a Tuesday; it doesn't always have to be a profound, poetic tragedy.

♌ Leo You are currently taking a minor administrative inconvenience as a targeted, personal attack by the cosmos. The universe is not out to get you; it's honestly just ignoring you right now.

♍ Virgo You are actively trying to color-code your emotional distress. I deeply regret to inform you that feelings do not belong in an Excel spreadsheet, and you cannot optimize your way out of anxiety.

♎ Libra You are so frozen in panic about making the "wrong" choice that you are currently making no choices at all. The stars are begging you: literally just pick a dinner spot before midnight.

♏ Scorpio You have spent the last 48 hours analyzing a slightly ambiguous email sign-off. "Best," is not a passive-aggressive threat. Stop looking for betrayal in the mundane and go drink some water.

♐ Sagittarius You are convinced that booking a deeply impractical flight to a country you can't afford will solve your underlying emotional problems. It won't. Pay your parking tickets first.

♑ Capricorn You have efficiently penciled in a minor emotional breakdown for exactly 4:15 PM so it doesn't conflict with your Zoom meetings. I respect the hustle, but you still need a therapist.

♒ Aquarius You are using obscure internet rabbit holes as a coping mechanism to avoid confronting your actual life. Please close the Wikipedia page about 18th-century maritime law and go to sleep.

♓ Pisces You spent thirty minutes today trying to extract a deep, spiritual lesson from the fact that you dropped your toast face-down. The universe isn't sending a sign; sometimes gravity is just gravity.