Corporate misfits unite

Autumn morning. Deutsche Bank graduate induction. Day One.

The instructor handed out a personality test. I did it diligently...because that is what diligent graduates do.

Result:

Creative.

The instructor read it twice. Then he looked up. "I don't remember the last time someone on the programme came out with this profile."

He meant it as a simple curiosity. But it was a warning: I spent the next 15 years ignoring it.

What I did instead was the standard high-performer move when the system tells you you're wrong: I assumed the system was right and got better at hiding.

Over-deliver. Fit in. Get that promotion. Get that salary increase. Repeat.

The feedback came back, quarter after quarter, manager after manager, in the same shape:

• You're too blunt.

• You're too creative (!)

• You don't follow rules.

• You need to be more precise.

Different jobs. Identical feedback.

But I was undeterred. I started building the software. Then I built teams that build software. Leveraging my unconventional brain that interpreted rules as mere suggestions. All the while always being told to be less "different".

But, importantly, I wanted to be there. I liked the work. I liked the money. I liked the people.

Mind you, I wasn't a misunderstood artist: I was making beautiful slides for boards of directors whilst wearing a Rolex. By the time I made Director at HSBC, I had been doing the contortion for over a decade.

I remember the thought, fairly clearly: Right. Now no one can tell me I'm not good at my job.

So I put the earring back in. I had taken it out before joining banking: a small surrender that fooled exactly no one (maybe my mum 😜 ) and that I'd been resenting ever since.

One earring became two. Two became four. Then the tattoos started. One, two, three, four — but I am not here to do an inventory (even though I love to show them off!)

Each one was the same private thought: This is who I am. I am done apologising for it.

And then something clicked. I had spent fifteen years trying to fit in. And the thought arrived, fully formed: If I went through this, I couldn't be the only one. There are people in glass towers right now getting the same feedback I got, wishing for their own version of earrings and tattoos, and drawing the same wrong conclusion: I need to fit in.

That is what made me become a coach. My inbox now is full of versions of the same sentence.

• I'm not a good communicator.

• I'm too emotional.

• I'm too transparent.

• I'm too blunt.

• I talk too fast.

These are not problems. They are symptoms of a brain wired differently, working inside a system that mistook the wiring for a defect.

The prescription was wrong. The patient was always fine.

What I do now is help people stop apologising for the peaks and start building their work around them. The technical name for the cognitive shape is the Spiky Profile: high asymmetry, real strengths, real friction. None of it broken.

Some of the toolkit is neuroscience. Some of it is the embarrassingly large body of evidence I've collected coaching dozens of senior leaders with this exact story. Some of it is Reiki and meditation, which I have stopped apologising for as well.

If you've been told you're too blunt, too emotional, too creative, too much — and you're starting to suspect the issue might not be you.

If you want to talk it out, I'd love to hear your story: grab some time in my diary for a coffee! https://calendar.app.google/Euqk6yShAVrijbi49

Or, if you want some data first, take the Spiky Profile assessment and see what your brain is actually doing: squirrelcoach.com/spiky-profile

I'll be honest about what I see.

Daniele, The Data Shaman

PS: To the instructor at the Deutsche Bank induction who clocked the "creative type" result on Day One — you were right. Sorry it took me 15 years to listen. If you're reading this, I owe you a coffee. But I am not going to explain the long hair.

The Spiky Profile Horoscope: Cosmic Guidance for Corporate Misfits

• ♈️ Aries (The Blunt Force Trauma): Your feedback this week is going to be called "too aggressive" by a middle manager who is actually just afraid of momentum. Don't dull your edges. Your impatience is a feature, not a bug—it's what pushes the project across the finish line while everyone else is still debating font sizes.

  
  

• ♉️ Taurus (The Stubborn Architect): You are going to be tempted to fix a broken process because it offends your sense of stability. Don't do it for free. Let the system creak a little so they realize they need your specific brand of grounding. Unapologetically decline the meeting that lacks an agenda.

  
  

• ♊️ Gemini (The Chaos Engine): Someone will inevitably comment on your "scattered" approach or the 47 tabs open in your brain. Ignore them. Your superpower is synthesizing completely unrelated data points into a coherent strategy. Keep connecting the dots they don't even see.

  
  

• ♋️ Cancer (The Corporate Radar): You’ve been told you are "too sensitive" to the office dynamics. Actually, you are the only one with a functioning early-warning system. Trust that gut feeling about the new vendor; your emotional data is more accurate than their quarterly projections.

  
  

• ♌️ Leo (The Reluctant Performer): You are exhausted from presenting the "perfect corporate" version of yourself. This is the week to let one of your tattoos show—metaphorically or literally. Stop over-delivering for an audience that doesn't appreciate the real you.

  
  

• ♍️ Virgo (The Precision Instrument): Your feedback will be labeled "nitpicky" again. But when you spot the fatal flaw on slide 42 that would have cost the company millions, they will call it "attention to detail." Stop apologizing for seeing the cracks in the foundation.

  
  

• ♎️ Libra (The Disruptive Harmonizer): You are trying too hard to make everyone get along in a team that actually needs a good, productive conflict. Balance doesn't mean silence. Drop the truth bomb today; it’s the only way to re-align the scales.

  
  

• ♏️ Scorpio (The Root Cause Analyst): Your intensity is making the C-suite nervous. Good. You are currently seeing right through the surface-level metrics into the actual rot in the system. Don't dilute your findings. Deliver the autopsy report exactly as you see it.

  
  

• ♐️ Sagittarius (The Rule-Bending Visionary): You are interpreting strict compliance guidelines as "mere suggestions" again. While you shouldn't commit wire fraud, definitely keep questioning the arbitrary rules that exist "because we've always done it this way." Your rebellion is the R&D the company desperately needs.

  
  

• ♑️ Capricorn (The Rogue Executive): You are secretly planning to build your own system because the current one is entirely inefficient. Stop trying to climb a ladder you don't even respect. Your ambition isn't the problem; the container you're trying to fit it into is too small.

  
  

• ♒️ Aquarius (The Eccentric Strategist): You pitched an idea yesterday that was met with blank stares. You aren't wrong; you are just five years ahead of the market. Stop trying to explain the future to people who are struggling with the present. Go build the prototype.

  
  

• ♓️ Pisces (The Intuitive Translator): You are using oracle-level intuition to navigate a highly bureaucratic environment, and it's draining your battery. Stop trying to back up your absolute knowing with fabricated spreadsheets. If you know, you know.