Non-Linear Thinking: Neurodiversity Fishing

1. My tribe

I know my brain works differently. I have been aware of it since I was a child, and the diagnosis of autism and ADHD (or AuADHD) confirmed that I have indeed a special way of connecting dots and examining the world in front of us.

In my coaching practice, I truly enjoy when I coach my neurodiverse clients: the conversations are always unexpected and engaging, with a wide range of thoughts and emotions that make me proud of being part of this wonderful, albeit at times strange, tribe.

1. The Geometry of Thought: The Ladder vs. The Detour

Neurotypical (NT) individuals (the muggles, if you will 😜) have a thinking process that is linear: a thought goes from a A through B to conclude at C - see image below. In coaching, this is the "Ladder": you climb one step to get to the next, in a neat and clean way. It is efficient, predictable, and reasonable.

However, the Neurodivergent (ND) mind often relies on Associative Thinking: one topic might bring about a connection to a movie, and then to a character, and then to a colour. This is not a ladder; it is a "Detour". If you follow the reasoning it is extremely engaging, but it is definitely not something you would experience in a typical conversation.

What is really happening behind the curtains?

The "Detour" is the Destination: When an ND thinker goes from A >> D >> E >> C, they are not getting "distracted." They are gathering context and adding nuances and details.

The "Detour" is a Clarification: Standard coaching asks, "What is your goal here?" But, the ND mind often comments that, "I cannot define the goal until I understand the context (D) and the emotional texture (E). Only then I will have all the information I need to define what I want."

2. Why Frameworks like GROW and SMART Can Fail

The standard coaching tools can inadvertently become cages for neurodivergent thinkers, and a coach might fall into the Risk of "Correction": when the clients starts the detour, you might have the urge to pull the client back to B. However, to the ND mind, this feels like being interrupted or misunderstood. This shuts down the creative process, causing them to disengage.

The Problem with GROW (Goal, Reality, Options, Way Forward)

GROW is strictly sequential. It demands you define the Goal first. However many ND thinkers are "bottom-up" processors. They need to sift through the data (Reality/Options) before they can even identify what the Goal is. Forcing a goal at the start of the hour can lead to anxiety or goals that don't actually align with their needs.

The Problem with SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound)

SMART is designed for neurotypical executive function - however the ND brains works a bit differently:

• The Dopamine Deficit: For an ADHD brain, "Achievable" and "Realistic" often translate to "Boring." If a goal doesn't spark dopamine (interest, novelty, challenge), the executive function required to pursue it won't activate.

• Anxiety Induction: "Time-bound" can trigger paralysis in those with time-blindness or demand avoidance.

  
  

3. Reframing the "Deficits" as 8k Processing

It might be easy to label these as deficits - after all the conversation might take longer. However, these are actually akin to a 8k image:

1. Slower Executive Function >> High-Resolution Rendering: The ND brain is often processing significantly more sensory and emotional data than the NT brain. It isn't necessarily "slow"; it is rendering the image in 8K resolution while the standard framework only asks for 720p. The "pauses" are not emptiness; they are a reflection of the heavy lifting the brain makes.

2. Unexpected Deviations >> Pattern Recognition: Going to D and E allows the ND thinker to spot patterns that A >> B >> C misses. This is the root of lateral thinking and innovation. The "Long Line" allows the client to pull up a heavy, unique fish that a short line would have snapped on (more on the fishing metaphor below!!)

4. The "Long Line" Methodology: Coaching for Discovery

I often use the metaphor of fishing in coaching (catch and release, of course!) When I need to guide a conversation, I feel like I am like the Old man on a boat in the ocean, with my rod and line suddenly hooked to a fish. Now, as a fisherman, my focus is on deciding how much line to give, and when to start reel in - and when you need to give some line again.

Here is some advice I have found useful, and I hope it will be for you too:

1. Loosening the Grip on "Silence": In standard coaching, silence is for reflection. In ND coaching, silence (or rambling) is often processing. The coach must hold the space without trying to reel the line in too early.

2. Regulation over Instruction: ND clients often struggle with emotional regulation. A "short line" (strict guidance) can feel like pressure. A "long line" signals safety. It tells the client, "I trust your brain to get us there."

3. Convergence at the End: in standard coaching, the action plan is the point of the session. In ND coaching, the insight is the point; the action plan is just a mechanism to capture that insight so it doesn't float away.

I hope this little detour on ND coaching will help your conversations with your ND colleagues, friends and family - next time give some line - you might not realize what an interesting catch you will get :-)

🐟 The Angler’s Forecast: Weekly Horoscopes

Aries (The Spear Fisher) 🔱 You crave speed. You want A to C, instantly. Forecast: Murky waters ahead. Strike fast, and you hit a rock. Advice: Drop the spear. Use the long line. The prize isn't speed; it’s depth.

Taurus (The Anchor) ⚓ You found a spot. You refuse to move. Forecast: The fish moved. Your comfort zone is empty. Advice: Pull up the anchor. Drift into the unknown. It feels unsafe, but that’s where the feast is.

Gemini (The School of Fish) 🐠🐠 You cast ten lines at once. You catch mostly noise. Forecast: Tangled lines. Too much data capsizes the boat. Advice: Pick one detour. Follow one fish deep. Then cast again.

Cancer (The Pearl Diver) 🦪 You fish for feelings, not food. You sense emotion before logic. Forecast: High tides. Undercurrents may overwhelm you. Advice: Trust your sonar. Your sensitivity is 8K processing. Don't mask it.

Leo (The Trophy Hunter) 🦈 You want the big, shiny Marlin. The trophy goal. Forecast: You’ll miss the glowing ideas right next to the boat. Advice: Innovation starts small and weird. Don't throw back the strange catch. Let it grow.

Virgo (The Tackle Box) 🧰 Your tackle box is color-coded. You love the "Ladder." Forecast: Chaos ahead. Your plans will get soaked. Advice: Messy isn't broken. Don't panic-organize. Give the line slack. Patterns hide in the chaos.

Libra (The Balancer) ⚖️ You keep the boat steady. No seasickness allowed. Forecast: You avoid heavy catches to stay safe. Advice: Lean over the edge! Deep work tilts the boat. Perfect balance misses the water.

Scorpio (The Deep Sea Sub) 🦑 You live in the deep trench. You skip straight to Z. Forecast: You thrive in the dark waters others fear. Advice: Come up for air. Bring a flashlight. Help the Muggles see what you found.

Sagittarius (The Voyager) 🧭 You cast into a new time zone. You love the Detour. Forecast: You might forget to actually catch fish. Advice: Enjoy the horizon, but reel it in. End the session with a catch, however small.

Capricorn (The Salmon) 🎏 You swim upstream. You fight the current. Forecast: Exhaustion. You force lines in a non-linear world. Advice: Stop swimming. Float. Let the stream carry you. Coaching is flow, not force.

Aquarius (The Anglerfish) 🔦 You are the weirdest fish. You light up the dark. Forecast: Your "Detours" will confuse people. Advice: Shine brighter. Your "weird" solves problems. Don't dim your light to fit their box.

Pisces (The Water Itself) 🌊 You don't need a rod. You are the ocean. Forecast: You might dissolve and forget the goal. Advice: You master the Long Line. But remember to step on dry land. Make the dream real.